Plan for optimum results.

In deciding if the time is right to have this conversation, first ask yourself these questions:

• Am I over-tired or stressed out right now? (The more relaxed you are the better. If you're particularly on edge, postpone the discussion and get a good night's sleep.)

• Is my elder a morning person or a night owl? (Initiate conversations when they are at their peak performance.)

• Is it better to separate my elders or approach them together? (If you have a close relationship with one of your elders, this may be a smart first step.)

• Do I have enough information on this subject to discuss it intelligently, or do I need to do more homework? (The idea here is to be able to add depth to the conversation.)

• Do I have sufficient time now to get involved in a long and possibly serious discussion? (Clearing your schedule takes the pressure off you to "rush" the conversation which in turn creates a more stressful communication environment.)